Sunday, March 2, 2014

16 Things Tougher Than Saying Goodbye to Your RV

Our fifth-wheel was picked up by the salvage company last week, which I imagine is a bit like shipping off your beloved horse to the glue factory.
No equines were harmed in the making of this blog.
From our RV-warming party on the streets on San Francisco (yes, really) to docking alongside the Florida coast, we have had some wonderful experiences with our Voltage.

Instead of harping on the sad fate of our home for the last 16 months, we decided to look on the bright side -- well, actually the dim side -- meaning, it could be worse. 

In the spirit of Buzzfeed-mania, and to remember our dear Voltage fondly, here is a list of 16 things that are tougher than saying goodbye to your RV.

1) Hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

2) Hiking back up again. 
Wait, I thought everywhere had valet?
3) Get frisky with a giraffe. 
In for the kill. 
4) Visiting a litter of puppies and only adopting one. 
This is the toughest of all.
5) Wearing dumb costumes your humans dress you up in. 
Ellie's thinking, "I will devour this, you peasants."
6) Driving a dually diesel truck everywhere.
Especially when you lack opposable thumbs.
7) Pulling your snowmobile out of a ditch during a storm. 
It takes precisely four men to pull a snowmobile from a ditch.
8) Kayaking the Colorado River. 

9) Officiating your best friend's wedding. 
It's all in the arms.
10) Rockin' for 50+ years. 
I've been around for a long, long year HALF-CENTURY. 
11) Going extinct. 
I believe that Spielberg will clone you one day.
12) Squats. 
My legs hurt, bro. 
13) Taking a decent family photo for your annual cheesy Christmas card. 
Can't we have one nice memory!?
14) Hiking the Appalachian Trail.

15) Having only 65 fireplaces in your country home
How destitute of you. 
And finally...16) Not having someone to reminisce with you on all the good times, not-so-good times, and everything in between. We'll miss you, Voltage! 

P.S. Thanks to Shyam and Mohini at the Yoga Warehouse in downtown Fort Lauderdale, FL for storing our RV while we search for a new home. If you're feeling limber and want to experience the benefits of traditional hatha yoga, check out the world's best yoga studio with the most devoted, caring and patient teachers. (Full disclosure: He's my father. I was highly compensated with food, shelter and financial aid for 20+ years to say these kind, but true things.) 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Rachel, Thank you for keeping all of your envious family and friends informed of you transcontinental trials and tribulations. Yes, the "poo" water that totaled the Voltage was disgusting, a set back, was frustrating and a pain but you two came out smiling w/ your brand new, very fancy rig plus a new Mini Cooper. Call it a "silver lining", etc., I think you three are headed for even happier trails ahead! Plus you were able to spend time with Rachel's family to boot. Please explain that Spencer is on diaper duty. Did I miss something???


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